Its been days since the last time mama was cremated(august 14, 2009 ...until now I feel like it was all just a dream, still hoping that when i wake up, mama is still there to call me in the morning, telling me how I am?

i'm trying to move on pretending that it never happened , but it's so hard.

It was only now, that I have the courage to write

I maybe not be that vocal, but I admit that I miss her so much,

i miss talking to her, i miss treating her out, talking anything under the sun. We are always partners being the tourist guide everytime there are visitors who came up to Baguio, my partner in ukay-ukay, and never ending activities we had.

ma, sorry if there were times when you felt that I care less, but the truth I was looking forward for your recovery, hoping you will still be there when I get married , when I get pregnant, but these words are useless anymore , because you will never hear me

ma, i miss u so much! Where ever you are, I'm praying that your soul may rest now in peace!