I am the photographer of the family, this hobby(photography) is soo expensive but the memories that it creates is priceless...even if most of the times i'm not included on those pictures the point that I was able to create a lasting memory ... that is good enough for me

mama in 2004

our days together as tourist guide to relatives

aeron, mama and I waiting for year 2009

waiting for year 2008




We will miss you mama!

Its been days since the last time mama was cremated(august 14, 2009 ...until now I feel like it was all just a dream, still hoping that when i wake up, mama is still there to call me in the morning, telling me how I am?

i'm trying to move on pretending that it never happened , but it's so hard.

It was only now, that I have the courage to write

I maybe not be that vocal, but I admit that I miss her so much,

i miss talking to her, i miss treating her out, talking anything under the sun. We are always partners being the tourist guide everytime there are visitors who came up to Baguio, my partner in ukay-ukay, and never ending activities we had.

ma, sorry if there were times when you felt that I care less, but the truth I was looking forward for your recovery, hoping you will still be there when I get married , when I get pregnant, but these words are useless anymore , because you will never hear me

ma, i miss u so much! Where ever you are, I'm praying that your soul may rest now in peace!

Maraming Salamat Kaibigan!

for some na hindi nakaka-alam nung sitwasyon ko, let me just share it to ease my burden

si mama kasi has stage 4 breast cancer and unfortunately na kumalat na rin sa liver, noon pang 2007, dpat kasi for operation siya at that time , kaso postponed dahil sa taas ng blood sugar nya, dhil na rin sa takot nya hindi na siya tumuloy, until now nsa hospital siya, although nakakausap mo syia,para syang bata, kung ano-ano ang sinasabi nya…akala ko stable na siya noong nilipat namin siya sa general hospital kasi ubos na yung sa health insurance, yun pala dhil pala yun sa mga pain reliever…

pag ako ang nagbantay behave si mama , pero pag ung mga kapatid ko , nag tatantrums siya, meron pang point na hindi nya ma-recognized ung sister ko..parati nya akong hinhanap, ang hirap sa dibdib, pag sinsabi nyang pabayaan na lang siya, parati kong sinsabi na wag syang mag-isip ng kung ano-ano ang importante magpagaling cia, mabigat sa loob na umalis pero kailangan dahil ako lang ang inaasahan sa amin.

nandun ako sa stage of hoping , kya kung nabubulabog ko yung iba ng text asking for prayers pasensya na, desperate lang talaga ako to ask for a miracle, I tried to be strong infront of my mom, pero ang hirap, kahapon(august 5 wed) sumama ako kay alvie para magsimba sa baclaran, the last time na nakapunta ako mismo sa simbahan when I was still a small kid 3-4 yrs old yata ako noon, sinama kami ni mama noon…hindi talaga ako pala-simbang tao and kahapon lang ulit na I attended the mass, noong kinanta na yung "Ama namin" yung tipong kailangan mong itaas yung kamay mo, hindi ko na napigilan na pumikit at umiyak, tpos nung nag communion nako , humahagolgol na ko sa likod ni alvie habang nagdarasal.

I can't explain pero everyday para akong sabog, lumulutang, pilit gnagawang parang normal ang lahat, kya kung minsan makita nyo akong tulala at dko kau npansin, paumanhin na lang po

gusto kong magpasalamat sa walang sawa nyong isama nanay ko sa mga dasal nyo, Thank you po!

just got news from my sister that mom's chemo was not able to push through, the doctor need to find out if the liver is badly infected, so they had to do some lab test first.... I pray that mama will survived this challenge in her life...i'll write a letter later to give her moral strength...i've got no choice to show any sign of weakness in her eyes , i should remain strong. Lord , give us strength.

mama already got out of the hospital , but still weak , so my younger sister decided to adopt my mom at her house for the meantime.

Photographs and Memories

As for those who have not known me, i'm addicted to taking pictures. I love it... it brightens my day...especially if you were there capturing all different expressions from people. Here are some pictures that I really like

neslie and my coffee

this was taken on during her last day at the office, I promised that I will take a pictorial of her, so i bring my slr and have a great time bonding with her, Neslie is now in Baguio

des and kris right after their wedding (dec 20, 2008)
this was right after their wedding , the only photos i got , since i was not able to attend the ceremony, Kris is my former dance troupe colleague back in college and Des well i just know him in school..hehehe

diana carney ( before she got pregnant, pictorial at La Mesa Ecopark)
we had a great time during this pictorial even people in the park thought they were Models,

liza mate( cousin , pictorial at La Mesa Ecopark, she was pregnant here)

we started at diana's condo when they decided to continue it in the ecopark, I had a great time during this pictorial

jojo and julie on their wedding day

kids playing around(this was during jojo's wedding)

a wedding cake

floating flowers

cousin liza and lil

che and her cute baby

Going strong

Just arrived from Baguio, just last saturday june 27,2009 went home right after shift then left manila to go home again, mama was send to Notre Dame hospital in Baguio, she is really feeling weak and for the benefit of those who doesn't know , mama was diagnosed of breast cancer stage 4. I keep on telling her to go and see a specialist to get a best option on her case, but she refused and continue on self-midication. Only last monday that she was convinced to go to the hospital to be admitted because she really can't eat anymore and the pain in her left breast is hurting her.
The sad thing is she was diagnosed to have TB, I asked my supervisor to have emergency leave for atleast 2 days , which they gladly gave me(thank you so much , boss).

My mom, is just like me, so stubborn to be admitted to the hospital, because she doesn't want be a burden to ANYONE... I'm not losing hope, things happen for a reason and I know God will not give us burden that we cannot surpass.

To my friends and family who extend their moral support and prayers , thank you so much, it really help me a lot.


Ma, just be strong, you are not alone in this life.